Today was a turning point in my life. It's strange in a way to recall the very instance in time where a decision in my life will affect me for a long time. I woke up after sleeping about 3 hours on a mountain off the freeway. I decided to stop one last time to gamble the $150 at the casino before heading home. I ended up losing it all even though I knew I could have won early with aggressive betting. I left the casino nonchalantly, not thinking too much and not worrying about the $150.
Suddenly as I was driving I realized if I couldn't win when the situation was good, I should give it up. I was angry at myself for being foolish about trying to win, and that nothing can replace hard work to make money. At this point, I decided gambling would be out of my life for at least the next 2 1/2 years, and maybe longer. First thing, when I get home, is to remove anything gambling-related on my computer and stop working on the blackjack analysis program I have recently been writing.
Just to get off the main highway heading towards Roswell, New Mexico, where everyone was probably heading home from the 4 day layoff, I took a dirt road which I eventually got lost on. By the time I found my back to the highway to Roswell, I had driven an extra 1 1/2 hours and the sun was completely set.
A song came on the radio while on a dark and lonely road in New Mexico: The lyrics went discussed a man who met an old lover, and then went to a bar, but it was closed, so they went to the liquor store and drank in the car while talking...later he sings about her seeing him in a record store. The song was a beautiful soft ballad telling an almost real story without much of a chorus- unlike the songs on popular radio stations. I think I've heard this song before, but coudn't be sure. (The song was Dan Fogelberg's Same Old Lang Syne.)